| The Ocean by Ben Hanbury on Sonia Moriceau's course Buddhadharma Program 2005 I make myself comfortable in the shade using a young pine tree as my back support. The black rabbit that I often see around is in a nearby glen. Ears twitching it casually eyes me as it munches away on the grass. A small bird twitches back and forth on a nearby branch. Showing off its feathers and telling its story in song. I have just come from class we have been asked by Sonia to contemplate the wealth of teaching and experience that each one of us embodies in our being. Our experience is what makes us who we are and is a great source of strength if we can learn to rest in it. So I kick start the contemplation with the activities that I have partaken in during my life. The sparkling ocean as seen through the eyes of a child on a magical weekend. The smell of canvas from my slightly oversized and faded orange lifejacket. Squinting at the horizon I can barely make out the masts on the Isle of Wight which mark our destination. The ocean seems so vast. Our little dingy rocks like a hobby horse as we leave the shelter of Lymington River and its marshes. A father and son are escaping the burdens of the land and experiencing the kind of freedom one can only found in nature. I am 10 years old and this is my initiation to sailing on the sea. Father has sailed these waters since he was a child as did his father before him. My mother told me that he has been waiting for me to grow big enough to be able to help him keep the boat upright in a blow. For me this is a life shaping adventure which planted the love of the ocean firmly in my heart. We have our tent, our sleeping bags and some emergency rations (mostly chocolate). My little brothers are at home with my mother. It's just me, my dad and miles of ocean. As I recall my first memory of sailing on the ocean an amazingly strong sense of gratitude wells up from inside of me. I begin to cry. Not from sadness or happiness simply from a sense of deep deep gratitude. Gratitude not just to my father but a profound sense of gratitude to the ocean itself. My car rolls to a halt on the volcanic rocks. All around me are the remnants of lava flows and past volcanic eruptions. This is a barren island of sand and rock. The sea is gleaming from the reflection of the sun. The gentle off shore breeze smoothes the ocean and blows spray high off the back of the waves. My excitement builds as in my mind's eye I carve my lines on the incoming swells. The precarious walk over the rocks is followed by the cool immersion which always feels like a home coming. I am now in a different world. A world of movement and sensation. The swells lift me skywards as they pass beneath me. Rainbow colored spay rains down with a brief intensity as the wind whips over the breaking surf. A set of swell lines darken the horizon with their presence and in an instant I too am totally present. In fact 'I' no longer exists. There is just calm anticipation, concentration and energy. The swell shifts and mutates as it draws closer. We are one, there is no longer any separation just energies flowing. As the wave lifts me skywards I spring to my feet. Momentarily I stand poised at the crest before rocketing down the glassy smooth face. Human being and nature dance a beautiful dance of inter-being. The moving, shifting, alive ramp of pure energy towers over my head blocking out my view of the rest of the ocean. We move together as one in a timeless state over the shallow reef and towards the shore. The wave gives one last surge of power as it crumbles on the reef. I turn off the back and as I start paddling my world comes flooding back. Once again I am a 29 year old call Ben out surfing with his mates in the Canary Islands. I have been in and on the ocean thousands of times between these two experiences. I have experienced the sea in all of its states from the most deadly cauldron of swirling currents and monstrous waves to mirror like glassy stillness and everything in between. I have shouted at it, unleashed my fury and anger upon it, poured out my sorrows and cried into it. I have shared with it the most magical moments of joy, happiness and deep deep peace. How does the sea react to me? It just rolls on by, it rages and it calms and it rages again seemingly unaware of my presence. The ocean doesn't judge me, it doesn't praise or blame. It just is. To the ocean, to the winds that sculpt it, to the sun that warms it and to the earth that contains it I am profoundly grateful. It has been my greatest teacher and my best friend. It runs in my veins as blood and is forever a part of me. To the wonderful manifestation of inter-being that is the ocean I say
Thank you
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