Reflections on Refuge and Aspiration by Regan BarkerSome reflections at the conclusion of the 2005 Wangapeka Buddhadharma Study and Meditation Program After six months well-spent at Wangapeka Deva-loka, being nourished and supported, supporting and nourishing, softening and expanding, questioning deeply and exploring widely, we're soon to be fledgling bodhisattva-yogis at large, foraying in the world. From the whare to the fray like hatchling chicklets from the nest, bright-eyed and tremulous,our clumsy attempts at flight all squawks and flailing feathers akimbo, yet moved and inspired by the majestic, effortless soaring of eagles... ...Om Ah Guru Garuda Hum... And how will we meet the gusts of worldly winds and the predators-in-wait, the greed, the fear, the hatred and confusion that drive the madness of the world? With kindness, and interest, and six perfect companions to keep us on the noble path-less truth-path of the victorious ones; and with failings and hard lessons to strengthen our resolve and inspire new efforts. Centred, upright and engaged, we leave Tarchin's Pure Land Paradise, willfully, wistfully, plans loosely held against the uncertainties of an uncertain world. We go to lend our voices to the universe, the one-song, the hymn of here-and-now; to carry mountainous aspirations into the market-place of life; to give and receive instead of buying and selling, to flow and let flow instead of holding and guarding; to find wholesome ways of relating instead of attack and defence; to allow, include and let be instead of gritting our teeth; to meet with energy and enthusiasm the challenges that face us; to move with focus and intent on the path beneath our feet; and to rest, just rest, in what is. We have made a beginning. May we continue to make a beginning in each moment, with every breath. And if this feels like an ending, a conclusion, a winding up, then let it be the winding of a spring to launch us into new investigations, new discoveries, new moments of unfolding. And let it be said that if we have in any sense become fledgling bodhisattva-yogis, it is only because we have had a great bodhisattva-yogi as our model, our mentor and guide. Tarchin is the eagle whose majestic flight seems so effortless, so inspiring. It's only taken me most of the time I've been here, months of softening and nourishment, to really begin to appreciate the wisdom and compassion that Tarchin is continually pouring out on us. It's funny really, the job of a teacher. They have to dance around making a fool of themselves trying to teach something that is fundamentally unteachable and point out something that's so close that wherever they point it tends to be pointing away as much as pointing towards. On reflection, I'm overwhelmed by the vision and commitment with which Tarchin has taken this rag-tag bunch of misfits and drop-outs with our vague and wispy ideals, and gently, gently encouraged us and nudged us and pointed us in the right direction again and again. And of course when things are going badly, it's all Tarchin's fault, and when things are going well, that's because I did something right, obviously! But he takes all that in his stride, never buys into our games, never falters. Thank-you Tarchin. It's said that a bodhisattva carries beings across the ocean of Samsara on two wings: the wing of wisdom and the wing of compassion. A number of years ago I made a new year's resolution: to grow wings and learn to fly. I've had the same new year's resolution every year since, and this year I feel like I've really started working towards that aspiration. I haven't got my wings yet, but maybe I've sprouted a few feathers. I think it was Emily Dickins who said: "Hope is the thing which has feathers". So here's hoping. Since the contemplation and clarification of aspiration has been a major background theme for me personally over my time here at Wangapeka, I wanted to end on a more determined note than `here's hoping'. Originally I wrote a stirring declaration of war against all the hordes of Mara and a vow - to be reborn with a thousand extra sword-arms if they should overcome me - but I think I'd rather conclude these musings with something a bit more thoughtful. I've come to the conclusion that there are only two important things in Buddhadharma: refuge and aspiration. Whatever formula you use to remind you of refuge, be it Buddha Dharma Sangha, or any other phrase, ultimately and fundamentally your true place of refuge is your own self-nature, your Buddha-nature, the ground of your own being. "Pure awareness of now is the real Buddha" Dudjum Rinpoche tells us. Contacting this, to whatever extent you are able, is called `taking refuge'. Moving within, arising from, and bringing us back into this ground of being, is the precious bodhicitta, the aspiration, the driving urge and compulsion to pursue wellbeing and wholesomeness for all beings, to awaken for the sake of others. Krishnamurti said "truth is a pathless land", and Zen is sometimes called "the wayless way." Chan master Han Shan, with regard to his path,said "having trodden it, it vanishes" to which I would add "it has yet to appear ahead". Therefore, the wayless way through pathless lands is to be found only here, where these two feet now rest. Refuge is the ground beneath my feet. Aspiration is the path. The path is the ground beneath my feet. Despite the vast improbability of the existence of a single flower, the unfathomably unlikely coincidences of fifteen billion years of universal evolution required to give rise to a moment of a me or a you noticing a flower-bud poised to bloom, nobody seeing a flower bud has any doubt that it will one day unfurl its petals. Bodhicitta is a bud in the heart of all beings, poised to bloom. All we need is a little watering, a little nourishment, and a little sunshine. So take refuge, take heart, and aspire: For the sake of all beings Wisdom, Compassion, Awareness. Click here for the printfriendly version of this page About Us / Program / Teachers / Treasury / Buddings / Images / Links / Books / Stay / Contact Us / Members
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